Friday, December 04, 2009

On Humility and Gratitude.

In the age of immediate gratification, it's easy to forget to slow down. I am battling this trend by writing in my blog again after several months rather than just tossing an update on my facebook page. Of course, the irony of this is that many of you will see this because of facebook, but that's just distribution.

My mother had a medical emergency about 7 weeks ago, and it really put things into perspective. I dropped everything and went to the hospital in Portland, Maine for five days and had the opportunity to spend time with my amazing family. I am happy to say that she is home and well again (thank goodness), and I am feeling less frantic about life. Thanksgiving was particularly poignant this year. Here's what I have realized lately:
1. I can find peace and stillness here. (wherever and whenever "here" is)
2. I am grateful for so many things that I easily become overwhelmed with joy and humility when I pause to think about it. Pausing to think about it is rewarding.
3. You really never have any idea what life is going to bring. Comfort is good, but I can't let myself think everything can go on forever the way it is. Because it never does.
4. Time really flies. I found myself thinking, "I'd like to make that dish that I made recently...uh, last month? year?... crap."

I don't mean for this note to sound pessimistic or morbid, but I have been feeling incredibly philosophical and full of gratitude lately, and to a degree, relinquishing control over the things that I ultimately cannot control has been cathartic. Experiencing gratitude has allowed me to tap into emotional recesses to which I would have otherwise been numb has been powerful. As the winter travels in (slowly this year, thankfully) I am feeling quiet and peaceful.

I'll do some real writing soon, but I just want to thank my friends and family for being my friends and family. You have no idea how much joy and humility your love and kindness brings me.