A Venting Session

This entry is going to be more on the utilitarian side, this past day having been rather difficult causing me the need to vent. Cause and effect. The main problem with having an office job, or really, any normal job as opposed to being a student is that i personally like the academic lifestyle. I work really really hard, and then ideally break really really hard. I honestly put my full self into whatever the hell i'm doing, even if it's making an espresso or paying our bills on time. The platonic ideal of ephemeral "me" qua "me" goes into any and all task that i undertake. Because of this, it behooves me to take some pretty hefty breaks. Like a break in the winter, and then a major break in the summer when it's too damned hot to think or accomplish anything anyway. Sure, i have had summer jobs since i was twelve, but it was still a break from what i had been doing. Therefore, the academic schedule suits me qua me in a way that no other kind of job really can. It's perfect. Work insanely hard for a couple months, and then take a break to do something different, even if it's working on a book. Not to mention the obvious advantages of not having to be to work at 9 every morning. (See post from Saturday, Dec 20 12:43:16 AM.) QED (Quod Est Demonstratum, trans. Because It Is Shown -- a rather lovely part of geometry that i always enjoyed. I'm a bit of a Latin and French junkie. If i can ever get my hands on the time and resources to learn another one, i'd be a junkie for that too. Gift idea: pooling together enough cash to get me the Pimsleur language CD's for French, Spanish, Italian, German, Russian, ... really, anything. Irish? Yeah.)

So anyhow, the entire point of the entry today was to just say that work was hard because i always work hard, but it makes it that much more difficult when i feel responsible for getting a lot of shit done before the holiday, especially when some people at work seem to have selective hearing when it comes to the fact that no, i WON'T be there for Christmas Eve! For the umpteenth time! Oy gevault. It's not as if it isn't easy to forget, because it's a tremendously busy office. My family DOES Christmas Eve. We have actually stopped contuing the celebration into Christmas day now because of other families to visit. Like my Dad, for example. It would be nice if i actually got to spend quality time with any of them. I'mn quite used to being able to hop around with a little more time to spare instead of having to pack it all into to such a short span of time. This is also the first year that i won't be there to help Mom with dipping the chocolates and being able to wrap presents with her -- stuff that i really value. Instead, it's rushrushrush, and that's very difficult for me. Great reason #3 for me to work in academia. I don't mean to make this sound as if i don't like where i work. Because i sincerely do. I almost always have a great time there, and i'm certainly never bored. It really makes the time pass by. But i have to tell ya: not being home for the holidays is really hard on me.