Friday, March 03, 2006

Men's Classes

Disclaimer: The following is a joke that reinforces harmful gender stereotypes. I do not approve of this kind of a joke. That having been said, it's pretty damned funny.

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER

FOR ADULTS

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Monday, March 27, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.



Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5

After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM


Class 6

Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


Class 7

Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming, "Someone Stole The G__ D___: _________________" [Fill in the blank].
Open Forum
.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8

Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.


Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 11

Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined


Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

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